He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
