It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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