So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is wine microwaveable?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
