just come out here and I will go home with you...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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