at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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