turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize