so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
