Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
