Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize