This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
