Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
