just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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