The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
