I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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