Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You have to summon your inner elephant
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize