if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We're facebook friends in real life
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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