I don't think brook has ever known best
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
