The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
