I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
