Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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