It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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