APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
