hell yes lets make some ravioli
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
