whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
