your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
