I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
