if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
