What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
