my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
