Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I look better un-naked...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
