Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
