someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
