did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We are all done wearing pants today
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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