I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
