i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
