I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
