You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
