You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it was like eating out sand paper
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
