I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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