whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
