i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
