She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
