Girls should come with a carfax report
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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