i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
