I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
