Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
