this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my being single is dangerous.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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