I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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