Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize