no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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