dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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