Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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