His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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