bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
