I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
