Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
