don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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