And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
