I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
