So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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