Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
