ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
kristin has been a bad kristin
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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