wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize