All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
