i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
