love makes seman taste better
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
